the three

manifesto sounded cool. it’s mainly a set of guidelines that i’ve been noodling about. It came along because of the impending birth of our 5th child (we lost one, so 4 actually in the house at the moment).

this is a first cut, a rough draft, and *will* be edited heavily. i wanted to, in the spirit of the Cult of Done manifesto, get something out there. :)

[add something about being easily offended, or annoyed with my children, how it's not helpful to anyone, especially them]

Some of these i’ve apparently either been wired or raised to know, some i forget (and this is why i write), and some of these, He’s truly gifted me to live and internalize, outside of my own strength!

1. You are not a burden. While being tough to handle, and an impetus to heartache, you are a human being, with all the worth the Creator gave you, and you will do great things on this planet, if I have anything to do with it, and the Lord tarries. :)
2. You’re gonna say silly things! Sometimes funny, sometimes shocking, even as a teenager (i guess it’ll probably get more intense :)…you’re a kid for goodness sake! I will let you have the freedom to do so, and do what i can to check myself to avoid getting easily offended.
3. God takes joy in seeing and experiencing his children. I will too.
4. You are more important than the thing(s) I’m doing. Right at this moment, and for life. This doesn’t mean that I will “spoil” you, and hang on to your every word, but you surely deserve *all* of my initial attention when you address me.

or, this is where i explain my status message, a little bit:

“jon doesnt want to be a downer, but wants to observe out loud that he is now the same age as his brother was when he died. And that this is also around the time That Other thing Happened.”

so you see, my ping.fm collects my status for all posterity (i.e. i’ve written some code that will drop its updates into my personal database). so i wanted to post it there, and by default it goes everywhere else, which, as i thought of posting is perfectly fine actually–i wanted the freedom to have a sad thought. i’ve been actually *accused* of being too positive on occasion. wow.

This is “around” the 4th anniversary of my friend’s suicide–he was the biggest influence on my passion for photography. My brother, who died of AIDS complications was my age. On the flip side, my mother was this age when i was born. Which might also be disconcerting depending on how you look at it–my mother in many ways seems quite old now, and i always fight these thoughts of losing her soon. good grief :)

so yeah, wanted to get all this stuff out somewhere, ‘cos i’m feeling it heavy at this very moment, and joy (my wife) is gone (she’d probably be in bed this time in the morning anyway:). she did recently write something though that i think is going to help me get through the day…because honestly, i’m letting this out not to be felt sorry for, but to keep track of my thoughts this day, and actually get some strength to “make it” today

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. So I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Cor 12:9″

So that’s really it though. i’ve been accused of being too positive on occasion. One thing’s for sure. *you* have to still live, in spite of the crap going on in and around you. It’s good to let stuff out from time to time. But *you* have to still live. There’s not enough life available to act as if you’re already dead. Christ took care of that for us. Have compassion, but *you* have to still live. There are heavy burden’s we’ll bear, that’s for sure, but everytime i find myself going through stuff like this, i’m like “oh okay, maybe this is what *joy* (actual joy :) is about…contentment in spite of circumstances?”