<because i don’t want myself to forget times like these! only read if you’re hella voyeuristic, or want to be reassured that you’re not so weird after all>

its one of those days that is going on like a dream.

not necessarily a good one

not a bad one

but definitely surreal.

it started with a morning that found me actually *consoling* and feeling so so bad for my little girl, when she wouldn’t
shut up and get to sleep at 5 something in the morning, instead of the usually getting reeeeally pissed. i still feel so bad that she was just so dang upset, uncontrollably sobbing. i remember being between completely annoyed and completely wanting to hold her tight and let her know all was okay.

we had an “issue” at work today, my first day on-call (which means i get to have the pager over labor day weekend…whoohoo!) and i had about a quarter of a clue how i needed to handle this situation. coworkers: be ready for quite a few phone calls from me. :)

i went to give something to someone, and at the same time invited that person to lunch.

i hadn’t met them ‘cept for online.

its been a while since i’d been that stinking nervous–out of my mind!–unfamiliar place (they had the hometeam advantage!), new person, yet i enjoyed myself the whole time.

i don’t recall having done anything like that before (lunch with practically a complete stranger), and i’m pretty sure i can understand why.

i actually learned a bit about myself; i guess because they were a stranger, i felt i could talk about all sorts of stuff–i was so self conscious though, that i was hearing myself a lot (and talked far more than i should have, although, to be certain, i definitely listened, and feel as if i remember much of the conversation like i’m there right now).

i can’t believe sometimes the dumb things i say out loud. i guess its not until you are one on one with an stranger who is an introvert that you realize just how much stupid stuff you can say to make people uncomfortable.

i certainly have a gift sometimes for freaking people the hell out (or at least feeling as i have). i feel that this was no exception. in my head i’m like chris farley’s character (stupid! stupid! stupid!)

to top it off, on the bus this evening, i was awakened by three lively teens singing in 3 part harmony.

i am exhausted.

boy i’m glad God is who He is. i’m a mess.

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